I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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