u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
