Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
