I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
