duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
