I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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