Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
