I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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