He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
