we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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