I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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