Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
