She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
