So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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