it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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