Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
