saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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