I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
