I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Come share oat with me in your robe
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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