While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
