don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
