dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Operation Purity has been aborted
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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