everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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