You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
