The maid of honor just puked.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
