I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The uberlube is also flammable
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
