I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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