I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
farters have to be the big spoon...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
