tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you told grandpa to call you daddy
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
