For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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