I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
