I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize