bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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