It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
