He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
