also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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