you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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