I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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