no, he came in my armpit
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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