Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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