I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize