yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
