Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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