If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
