so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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