the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
