I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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