I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
