i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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