how hairy? two words: wookie tits
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
