She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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