Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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