you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
