My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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