So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
