It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
