there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
