I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
