Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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