I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I am available for nakedness
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
