spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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